Where I've Been The Past 4 Months

I'm back! After a 4 month long hiatus I'm finally back writing and it feels so damn good.

If I'm honest, my heart hasn't really been in the right place to write since around September. I was dealing with a lot of personal situations that resulted in me feeling isolated from my family. It's April now and I feel like I'm finally getting things back on track, however it's safe to say 2017 has been like a punch in the face.

In December I took a placement in a special school, and it was the single worst experience I've ever had in a school. The pupils were so sweet and lovely, but the teachers and assistants treated them like animals and laughed when they were in distress. They would place food between a child's legs and laugh at the child crying - and that was just the tip of the iceberg. I remember imagining them treating my brother the way they treated the children and I've never been more upset and angry - I almost threw the towel in on my plans to become a teacher after university.

Back in January, I received a phone call from my mum telling me that my granny had passed away. I remember sitting on my bed in Manchester, being absolutely speechless, after I hung up I couldn't do anything but cry. January was a blur, I was swamped with assignments and the thought of not being there with my family when we all needed each other made me feel so guilty. However, I don't want to remember her passing - I want to remember the memories we had when she was still here. I want to remember going to her house after school. I want to remember talking for hours whilst we coloured in. I want to remember all the times she said that she was so proud of me and hung my paintings up in her house. My granny was always full of life, fun and love and you would never leave her house feeling anything but a sense of warmth in your heart and I miss her everyday.

It's safe to say I'm ready for this academic year to be over, I need a break from university, Manchester and my nightmare housemates. I don't think I would have made it through this year without my boyfriend, I owe him so much thanks for being there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

Now that university is finished, I'm hoping to post more regularly on my blog. I'm not sure if I'll have a schedule just yet but the posts will be happier than this one - I promise! I should be starting to upload makeup reviews again (I know I'll be reviewing Kat Von D's foundation and pastel goth palette very soon. If there's anything else you'd like to see, don't hesitate to let me know!

Lucy